If you have visited my website at all over the past four years, I’m sorry. It’s been on a rollercoaster of a ride and I hope you’ve been able to delete the memory.

I recently Tweeted that Adobe Muse is probably one of my most embarrassing moments. And I’m not exaggerating. In 2015, I signed up for Adobe Creative Suite (something like $80/month) to play around with a software that made me feel like a designer. Fake it till you make it, right? I was more than happy to watch all the tutorials, and get this new skill under my belt so I could finally have a website (and include it on a list with my other creative and digital marketing services). At the time, I was also managing social media accounts, and doing product shots for businesses, in addition to freelance writing.

Over the past four years my website has gone from having all the bells and whistles and latest special effects to looking, in my opinion (and I’m sure most others), downright hideous. When you’re not a website designer you don’t realize there’s a massive difference between a 10 pt font and a 16 pt font, for example >Insert crying emoji here< You also don’t realize how much important design principles like white space and alignment really do matter. Both Adobe Muse and design have been a huge learning curve for me.

So now it just really makes me cringe when I think that the whole time I was promoting myself, online and off, as a website designer, that my website was kind of a joke. Of course, with work (writing, designing other people’s sites, etc.), I would let it sit there, for months, either missing information, or highlighting a glitch in the program, not to mention my amazing design skills. Over the years, there have been iterations of my website that I’ve really liked but then, for whatever reason, I’d revamp again.

So where does this all leave me now? Well, for one, I’m still cleaning up a mess over at Adobe Muse, even though my website is now with WordPress.com. The problem is, even though I wish I could put Adobe Muse in the past, I still have several clients with websites on the software (which deteriorates by the day and costs approximately $25/month, not to mention the hosting that’s required). Some of these clients really like the look of their website (true story) and those ones will be difficult to duplicate elsewhere. Others have a lot of files, which means a redesign will be time consuming. If you have used Adobe Muse and are facing similar circumstances, let’s talk!

In the meantime, I’m nearly 100% up to speed on all the ins and outs of WordPress (both .com and .org) and even though I’ve changed the look of my website a hundred times in the past couple of months, I can say almost certainly it will never look as terrifying as it once did when it was with Adobe Muse.